Near my work I pass a tanning salon called Seattle Sun Tan. If a farmer's tan is what happens when you are out in the field all day with your shirt on, what is a Seattle tan? I imagine they have two packages:

1) The Rainier - suit up in a North Face jacket, stand in a chilled room and face a wind machine for 2-hour sessions. A sunlamp will burn your face, but you won't feel it since the wind's going.

2) The Eastside - you sit at a laptop for 175 hours, editing code and sneaking a game of Solitaire. For $50 extra they'll use a blue airbrush to highlight your veins.