I am on a Power diet!

Dieting is not something I do. Until now!

It occurred to me during my latest Taco Bell run that I don't pay attention to what I eat. I know it is bad - no nutritional diet involves as much chips and salsa as I consume. I also recently took an online quiz (these are all-knowing quizzes) on my health, and the quiz said I needed like 6 servings of vegetables a day!! I currently get about one, and that is from the lettuce on my Subway sandwich. So I turned to the Internet for help.

I Googled "mens health" because I was concerned that plain old health would possibly give me namby-pamby solutions to my lack of vitamins, and/or lead me to a hospital site. I am not sick, Internet, I just need some fitness tips (or as I call them, "fips". No? Well, you can have your jargon and I can have mine). The first thing that popped up was the Men's Health site, which is a pretty extreme manliness site about getting rock hard abs, grilling up awesome meats, and having some good sex. But they had a nutrition tab, so I followed that until I got to:

The Abs Diet!!

I would link to the abs diet but it is too extreme! It is the kind of diet that uses words and phrases such as "power foods", "ultimate power smoothie", and "almonds are like Jack Nicholson in One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest: They're the king of the nuts." One of the diet's recipes is called the "Mas Macho Meatballs". Even the lingo in the recipes suggests the testosterone involved in this diet: shredded cheese, oatmeal nuked in water, ice cubes crushed.

The more I read, the more I simultaneously understood that a) this was the silliest diet ever and b) I was absolutely going to do it.

So I went to the grocery store last night and picked up a good amount of "power foods." This required more time in the produce section than I generally like to spend, and finding "low-fat" ingredients was tough. Also I could not track down "ground flaxseed", so I am going to substitute "Ramen Noodel Flavor Packs" for anytime recipes call for...no? Okay, have it your way, hypothetical blog reader. I'll track those down later.

Today is the first day of a diet! I am filled with hope and 100% protein whey! Hopefully intermittently on this blog I will update you on how the man diet is working, and how ripped my abs get. My guess is...pretty ripped!